Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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