threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
