Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
