It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
