Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
