Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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