their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
