I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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