dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
