just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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