So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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