the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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