I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
