i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
