Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize