go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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