yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
