So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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