yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize