the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
