i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
