I've blown a few things in my day
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
