now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
