i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
