Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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