Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
