Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
