in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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