So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
