honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
