ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
