Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
