No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize