We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
