i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
