Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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