I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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