anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I understand Curling. That high.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
