I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
