He felt like a one man threesome
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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