why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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