super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He felt like a one man threesome
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
