I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
