you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
