Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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