Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
