The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
