Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
