No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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