I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
