so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
