I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
