ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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