I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
