She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
