I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
