i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
