well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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