Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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