I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
