eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
