even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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